Down going up!

Can i explain why i wanted to jump off the top of a Safaricom tower-block?Of-course I can explain why i wanted to jump off the top of a tower-block.I'm not a bloody idiot.I can explain it because it is not inexplicable:It was a logical decision,the product of proper thought.It wasn't even a serious thought either.I don't mean it was whimsical-I just meant it wasn't terribly complicated,or agonized.Put it this way say your the assistant bank manager at Barclays in Nairobi.Then you are offered the job of managing a bank in Jo'berg and it starts in June.
Well even though it a really straightforward decision,you would still have to think for a bit,wouldn't you?You'd at least have to work out whether you could bear to move,whether you could leave your friends and colleagues behind,whether you would up-root your wife and kids(if any).You might even sit down with a piece of paper and draw up a list of pros and cons.You know:
CONS-parent(am a mummy's boy),friends,Gor Mahia
PROS-more money,better quality of life(house with pool,barbecue,e.t.c),ocean,no Kenyan politics,no KPLC,NCC!
Its no contest,is it?Gor Mahia!Give me a break.Obviously your parents give you pause for thought,but that's all it is- pause,and a brief one,too.You'd be on the phone with the travel agents in ten minutes.
Well,that was me.There simply weren't enough regrets,and lots and lots of reasons to jump.The only things on my cons list was my kids(the twins),but i couldn't imagine Kelly letting me see them again anyway.Suicide was my Jo'berg.I say that with no offense to the good people of Jo'berg.
Of the many inquests and obituaries i googled,they said the same thing.'He took his own life when his/her mind was disturbed'.Then you read the sad tale of how his wife slept with his best friend,sales on the ipad were low,He had been conned by some pyramid dudes.For me no disturbed mind just,bad thing after bad thing after bad thing,till you cant take any more.Surely that's far enough.At least my obituary should read"He took his life after sober and serious contemplation of the f#$%n shambles it had become.
Not once do you read,The Inter Milan midfielder who was dating the current Miss Burundi,had recently won a treble:he is the only man to be the 'CHAT male artist of the year' in the same year.Rights to His first novel bought for an undisclosed sum by Abigael Akello Arunga.Not saying that being a Inter Milan midfielder,engaged to miss Burundi and a Chat winner inoculates you from depression-sure it doesn't.Am saying these statistics help.
But divorced,prostitute,anorexic or unemployed.Or even (God-forbid) rape victim.There are lots and lots of factors that drive you to the edge;none of these make you anything but f*%%$n miserable.....................
to be continued.